Today has been a good day. I think the best thing has been that it has been just like every other
Sunday where we just hang out and relax. My family didn't go out of their way to make it over the top. Extra hugs and the kids are better about doing things the first time I ask, but I like that all of our relaxing Sundays feel like Mothers Day!
Mothers day is tough for me, I no longer have a relationship with my mom and yet she is still in my life. My little sister has been raised by her dad which is my step-dad and my family. She is 16 and one of my best friends! I seriously don't know what I would do without her! And I am so very proud of the Lady she is growing up to be. I know today is hard for her and I understand.
I have been super busy organizing my life! I will have pictures to come soon. I have been going through everything!! If I don't have a place for it, I either find a place or I donate it. I have been organizing my totes and putting vinyl on them to mark what is in each of them. I am not finished but already feel so much better!
What I am doing is not just organizing and cleaning but this process is very emotional too. I was raised by a mother who believes heavily in retail therapy.Usually yard sale, flea market, antique store, retail therapy. Always with the intention of "resale" which never seemed to happen. The salt and pepper shakers, sugar containers, plates, bowls, knick knacks all added up until she just couldn't take it anymore and she left.
I know that hoarding is not genetic - but even the small amount of stuff that my household has been holding onto has become oppressive. It makes me physically ill and I find myself shutting down. I made a decision about two weeks ago to do something about it!
Last week we cleaned out our storage unit and what a relief that was!! It was just a great feeling to take a full truck load to the donation trailer and fill a dumpster with stuff. Stuff I no longer had to hold onto just because I at one time payed money for it so it must be worth money now. Or because I could resell it in a yard sale or at a booth in the flea market - which I never do because I don't like to! But my mom did! ugh!
I am not my mother. I would never willingly leave my children! I will not keep things I no longer need. I will no longer engage in retail therapy where I buy things I do not need to make me feel better at the time. I will finish this project! Happy Mothers Day!
I love you and I'm so proud of you! You're an amazing girl, J-Train. Keep on keepin on!!
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